Byakuya
by Evening Lilacs
Summary: Satoshi watches Daisuke dance, brooding on his feelings for the redhaired boy. :Daisuke x Riku, one sided Satoshi x Daisuke, implied Dark x Risa:


DISCLAIMER.  
D.N.Angel is not mine.

xdXbx

As I watch you now, I realize the utter irony behind our names.

Here I am, the last member of the _Hikari_ bloodline, trying to melt into the shadows of a lonely corner because that freak of a 'father' made me come here.

There you are, counterpart of _Dark_, slipping about with the fluidity of a falling leaf. That of perfection is a league unreachable for your movements, but here that matters not. Your aim is her, as anyone here can see, and her aim is you. To her, you are perfection's bare definition, pure and simple and breezy in manner.

You watch your feet with concern, the room's upbeat music complicating things for your dancing ability. I hate it when you do this, when you grow uptight and self-conscious. Let yourself go, spread the natural feathers of your heart, and fly.

Soar, Niwa Daisuke. You're so beautiful when you do.

You don't have much time. We both know that. I want to see you soar before you need to go, before your emotions become too much for you to restrain.

Please, please, eject from your body the wings that keep me alive.

Without being able to see your true glory, without being able to rely on your calming presence, I'm sure I would suffocate from the pain of breathing. Nothing would be worth it; nothing would matter. Although you alone can release the monster in me, you alone are the reason I bother resisting him. You alone made my life how it is today, for good and bad.

I look up, and slow music is playing. When it started, I do not know.

You stand alone for a moment, awkwardly, and I fight back the urge to ask you to dance. Not only is that considered disgusting by the general public here; that would be taking away your obvious chance to ask _her_.

I find myself unable to think clearly as your head rotates to direct your eyes straight into mine. Now you know I've been watching you. You smile shyly; _you _know how I feel. What you don't know is how much I appreciate your acceptance of this. I love you. I can't help it. I apologize.

You dance with her now, in full realization you just don't have the time to be shy and slow about this. You _can't_ take your time. You _can't_ go at your own pace. Whether or not you even have your own pace, I'm not sure. Dark wants to get out tonight, I can tell. Perhaps he sees me; perhaps he feels Krad. Perhaps, even, he wishes to see your beloved's double. He is, after all, prone to the same attractions we are.

Though I know much better than to let my emotions get the better of me, I can't help but think for a minute that it's not fair. You accept me, and you sympathize with me, but you have no idea how simply _hard_ it is liking you in the way she and I do, how _hard_ it is to gain your feelings back. Her face shows relief that you seem to enjoy dancing with her. No, not relief. Joy.

For a fleeting moment, I can't help but hate her. You haven't a clue how much I would give to be in her position, not to be weighted down by the evil waiting for its chance to escape from within me, not being weighted down by the fact that we are both male. Your spirit is what I feel for; I care not about your gender.

A bubbling fills my chest, bubbles that bear razor-thorns as they explode. But this can't happen, not here. NO. I order him back, plead, anything for him not to appear. I can't allow myself to think about you, ever. I can never escape into a single blissful moment with thoughts of you and only you filling my head. Dreaming as a normal teenager does is out of the question for me.

Do you have any idea how painful this is?

I try desperately to keep Krad at bay, but he lurks just shy of my transformation point. I'm barely conscious of slumping to the floor in an effort to stabilize myself. He's laughing at me, I know. I can't think of you, I can't. I raise my head to breathe, and see you.

Oh hell, I wish I could dance with you. Just once, I'd like us to be that close. I want you! I want to be normal, damn it.

I've thought too much; I have to give up. There's no use in fighting. I know this as I run out the back door. I'm already in deep shit. No need to publicize the fact. I watch you through a dusty window, panting, waiting for my knees to give way to his stance.

It appears your situation is much the same as the song playing once again changes.

_'...tsubasa ni nare...'_

_Byakuya_, I realize. White night.

Your face turns ashen, and you bow to her, hastening to find an excuse to leave. Then you run outside to where I am. Our eyes meet, and for a second I feel normal. I allow myself, just this once, to bask in your light.

True light, illuminating this hellish night.

"Hiwatari-kun..."

You look scared, despite the fact that you go through this process often. They must be calling to each other.

For now, though, I don't give a damn. It's only me and you, and I drink the image of you in. I might never get to do it again.

Your face holds a quizzical expression, and I realize I'm trying to say something. I'm trying to voice my emotions. I know you know. I don't care. My ability to use common sense is still inside the building we've exited.

I feel as if I'm falling from somewhat of a titanic height. Falling from consciousness, falling for you. Things blur. I need to tell you, but I can't. I don't know how.

xdXbx


End file.
